心疼 - 给你的话

July 22nd, 2007 by manyee1983

今早读了一篇文章,它说尽了你心里一直不懂得向他表明的感受。这番话仿佛度身为你写给自己和他。。。

心疼

       如果,一个人总是不断地让你为他心疼,那是不是因为他不爱你,所以也不懂得珍惜你、体贴你?

      我们并不会平白无故地为某个人心疼,因为这必须建立在一定程度的感情基础上。如果不熟的朋友失恋受挫,你也许会同情可怜他,却不会为他心疼。因为,人只会为自己喜欢的人事物而感到心疼,那是因为我们特别珍惜、特别重视的缘故。

      在爱情的世界里,彼此都必须体谅、珍惜与爱情对方,否则只有单方面的付出,是不会有幸福的。如果,每次他的所作所为都令你感到心碎、痛心,你是不是该好好看清楚,面对现实了?爱情的付出,有时是希望回报的。如果他依然深爱着你,又怎会一而再、再而三地做出一些令你伤心难过的事?爱一个人,是希望他得到幸福快乐,而非让你承受痛苦的煎熬。在这种情况下,你为他心疼,他领情了吗?他也会为你感到心疼吗?

      如果不会,那你又何苦一而再地为他心疼?

如果你还在为不值得你珍惜的人伤心、难过;还在念着不珍惜你的人;还在期待他的回应, 读了这篇文章后,你就该好好地去考量你与他之间是否该来个真正了结了。给机会自己遇上珍惜你的人, 飞往另一片属于自己的天空。

若作了对自己公平的决定,千万别再因为他突而其来的电话、问候而动摇。别再让历史不断重演,别再让自己捆在他的世界里,反反复复地时而为他开心,时而为他痛心。

祝福你我他。。。

My sad birthday

June 25th, 2007 by manyee1983
Today is my birthday. This is the 3rd birthday tht I celebrate with my tears… Though accompanied by sad feelings, I still reveive lots of wishes from my frens who still care for me. Thank you so much to all of you.
Today, I received the second bouquet of flower in my 24 years. Again, this flower is not sent by someone I like, but is from someone whom I just know not long ago. Why is always someone who turn you down is the one you care, you love, you expect to hear from.
Am I expecting too much?
Till now,I still hope he will remember my big day, and send me his wishes……………………………………

Prayers by Sensei in 1970s…

November 15th, 2006 by manyee1983

Today I rededicate my life to kosen-rufu, Daisaku Ikeda.

1. To be strong so that nothing can upset the peace of my mind.

2. To talk health, happiness and hope to every person I meet.

3. To make my friends feel that there is something good and beautiful in them.

4. To look at the sunny side of everything and to be optimistic about them.

5. To think only of the best, work towards doing and expecting only the best.

6. To be just as happy as about the success of others as I am about my own.

7. To forget any mistakes of the past and to press forward to greater achievement in the future.

8. To give so much time to improving myself, that I have no time to criticize others.

9. To be too strong for fear, too kind for anger anf too happy for worry.

10. To lift my heart in faith each day so that the Gohonzon may show forth in my life.

Before I fall In Love

October 26th, 2006 by manyee1983

Before I Fall In Love

My heart says we’ve got something real

Can I trust the way I feel

’cause my hearts been fooled before

Am I just seeing what I want to see

Or is it true

could you really be

Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know,

before I fall in love

Someone who’ll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

Please tell me now,

before I fall in love

I am at the point of no return

So afraid of getting burned

But I wanna take a chance

Oh please,

give me a reason to believe

Say,

that you’re the one,

that you’ll always be

Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know,

before I fall in love

Someone who’ll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

Please tell me now,

before I fall in love

Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know,

before I fall in love

Someone who’ll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

Please tell me now,

before I fall in love

It’s been so hard for me to give my heart away

But I would give my everything,

just to hear you say (you’re)

Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know,

before I fall in love

Someone who’ll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

Please tell me now,

before I fall in love…..

树、风和叶子

October 11th, 2006 by manyee1983

樹.風. 和 葉子

「葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留?]

倘若你愛上一個人,千萬別裝作無所謂毫不在乎,愛情,玩不起心理戰呀!趕快跟你的他表白吧 !!

會叫樹的原因,是因為我擅長畫水彩畫,最愛畫樹,久而久之,我的畫作右下方索性以一棵樹來代表我。高中三年交過五個女朋友,有一個女孩子,我很愛她,卻遲遲不敢追,她沒有美麗的面孔,沒有姣好的身材,沒有撩人的魅力,一個再平凡不過的女孩子。 我喜歡她,真的真的很喜歡她,喜歡她的單純,她的直率,她的可愛,她的智障,她的脆弱。不追她的原因,也許是潛意識覺得平凡如她配不上我;也許是因為怕在一起後,一切的好感都會消失,也許是怕外人的指指點點傷害了她;也許是覺得,她會是我的,不用急著為了她而放棄一切。 最後這個原因,讓她陪了我三年,讓她看著我和別的女孩子廝混了三年,讓她心痛了三年。

她很想當一個好演員,但我卻像一個嚴苛的導演。我和第二個女朋友在廁所接吻,被她撞見,她尷尬的笑笑說:「Go ~ on!」然後跑掉,第二天,她眼睛腫得像核桃一樣,我故意不去猜想是誰讓她哭成這樣,嘲笑了她一天,她在所有人都回家後,在教室哭了起來,她不知道練球回來拿東西的我,看了她一個多小時 。

我的第四個女朋友,一直很不喜歡她,有次她們兩個吵了起來,我知道依她的個性不會去惹事,但我還是護著女朋友,她被我吼了一下後,愣住,眼淚滑了下來,我無視她的眼淚,陪女友走出教室,第二天,她依舊嘻嘻哈哈的和我開玩笑,我知道她很難過,但她不會知道我的心不比她好受。

當我和第五個女朋友分手時,我約她出去玩,玩了一天,我對她說:「我有事要對妳說。」她說:「真巧,我也有事要對你說。」「我和她分手了。」「我和他在一起了。」我知道「他」是誰,他追她也有一陣子了,是個蠻可愛的男孩子,活潑有趣,充滿了熱情,追她追得滿城風雨。

我不能表現自己的心痛,只能笑笑地恭喜她,但當我回到家,心中的痛楚強烈得令我無法承受,像有個千斤重的石頭壓在我胸口,我無法呼吸,想大叫卻叫不出來,眼淚竟然滑了下來,我掩面大哭,多少次,我也看著她為了那個不願承認的人掩面大哭。

畢業典禮時,我在手機上發現了一封簡訊,這是十天前,我掩面大哭時傳來的,只是我一直沒有去開過機。 葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留。」

葉子

高中時,喜歡蒐集葉子,why?因為我覺得,一片葉子要離開它長期依賴的樹,好勇敢哩!

高中三年,我和一個男孩子很好,不算男女朋友那種好,是好朋友那種好,但是,在他交第一個女朋友時,我學會了一種不該有的感覺,吃醋,心中的酸,不是一顆檸檬可以比喻,那就像是100顆臭酸的檸檬,酸到不行,他們只在一起兩個月,當他們分手,我還得掩飾自己心中強烈的喜悅,但是一個月後,他和另一個女孩子在一起。

我喜歡他,也知道他喜歡我,可是,他為什麼總是不追我呢?明明喜歡彼此,為什麼不行動?每當他交一個女朋友,我就心痛一次,一次又一次的打擊,讓我不禁懷疑,是我一廂情願嗎?不愛我,為什麼要對我那麼好?他對我的好,已經不是普通朋友可以做到。

喜歡一個人,好難過,我可以清楚的知道他的喜好,他的習慣,唯獨他對我的感覺,我猜不透,難道要我這個女孩子去開口嗎? 儘管如此,我還是想在他身邊,關心他,陪他,愛他,也許算是一種等待的行為,等待他回來愛我,就像每天晚上等他的電話,等他的簡訊,我知道,就算他再忙,也會撥出一些時間給我。這樣的等待,陪了我三年,等待是難熬的,是令人想放棄的,但等到的那一剎那,讓人第二天會繼續等下去。

這樣的煎熬,這樣的痛苦,這樣的幸福,這樣的矛盾,陪了我三年。 直到三年級下學期,高二一個學弟喜歡上我,每天的熱情追求,令我從一開始的拒絕,漸漸願意挪出我心房的一些位置給他。他像一陣溫柔而持久的風,撩撥我這片搖搖欲墜的葉子,到最後,我發現我已經不想只留一點點的位置給這陣風,我知道這陣風,會帶我這片傷痕累累的葉子,到更幸福的地方。

於是我離開了樹,樹只是笑笑,沒有挽留。

[葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留]

因為我喜歡的女孩子叫葉子,因為她有一棵令她依戀的樹,所以我要當一陣風,一陣呵護她的風。 第一次看見她,是高二我轉來一個月後的事,個子小小的她坐在球場旁,一雙眼凝視著同和我在球場的學長,每天的社團時間,她總會坐在那裡,一個人,和朋友,她的眼光依舊凝視著他,當他和女孩子打打鬧鬧,她的眼中有淚,當他看向她,她的眼中有笑。

看她成了我的習慣,就像她愛看他. 有一天她沒來,我心中沒來由的焦慮與不安,我無法解釋那種感覺,除了不安,還是不安,而且那學長竟然也不在。我衝去他們教室,躲在外面,看著學長罵她,她的眼淚,他的離去。

第二天,她依舊坐在場邊,看著他,我走過去,對她笑一笑,拿了張紙條給她,她先是驚訝的看著我,然後笑笑地收下。

隔天,她拿著紙條出現在我面前,然後離開。

「葉子的心太沉重,風吹不動。」

「不是葉子的心太沉重,是葉子根本就不想離開樹。」

我回給她這段話後,她漸漸會和我說話,收我的禮物,接我的電話。 我知道她喜歡的不是我,但我還是有毅力一定要讓她喜歡上我,四個月內我告白了不下20次,每一次她都轉移話題,但我還是不會放棄,我決定要的人,我就一定會給它追過來!

一直到不知道第幾次的告白,出了口,雖然知道她一定會又說到別的事,但還是有一絲絲希望她的答應,沒想到她都不說話,

「妳在幹嘛?怎麼不說話?」我對著話筒說。

「我在點頭。」

「啊?」我不敢相信自己的耳朵。

「我在點頭!」她大聲叫。

我甩掉電話,匆匆披上一件衣服,上了機車,衝去她們家按門鈴,當她開門的那一剎那,緊緊抱住她。

「葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留]。

這是一篇很特別的文章,它有感動您嗎?

牵手

September 23rd, 2006 by manyee1983

这是一篇摘自于朋友给我的email里头的文章.因为觉得内容还蛮棒的,所以就暂时抛开书本,把它写出来与大家分享:

                                                       " 牵手 "

第一次很顺从的给男生牵手,只因为觉得给他牵着很舒服很温暖,后来却发现….牵手是会把女生的心给牵走的。因为后来就变成了他的女友。虽然现在已经没有跟他再牵手的缘分,但那时的感觉却烙着。

记得和现在这个男友发生首次不愉快争吵,和好之后,他对我说:“你对我那么好,我以后要记得常常牵你的手。”那时候觉得很奇怪。他怎么会突然这么说,因为他牵不牵我的手,那时觉得也没有什么差别,只会计较着他会不会记得说“对不起”。

后来感情较深了,当他忘记牵我的手的时候,才发现那是不一样的…..手空空的,没有暖暖的实在感,心也变着空空的;记得牵我的手,代表着时时想到我,那是连心都牵在一起的感觉……特别是有时因为提着东西,没有空出手给他牵时,他会记得主动帮我提,让我空出手可以让他牵,那种被呵护的心情,是幸福的悸动。

第一次认识男友的侄子小宝,出去玩的途中,经过老巴刹,谈起里头卖的水晶包很好吃,男友停了车让我带小宝去买。过马路是人多车多,我牵着小宝的手小心翼翼的过马路。回到车里,男友酸溜溜的跟小宝说:“小宝,你第一次看到阿姨就牵到她的手,舅舅我之前为了要牵到阿姨的手花了多大工夫,舅舅好羡慕你喔!”

那时听到他对小宝这样说,心里有一种自己是很被珍惜的感觉。虽然嘴里是念着:“你怎么跟小朋友说这什么话啊!”但是心头一股甜味,还我硬是藏不住喜滋滋的笑意。原来“掌心”“掌心”,手掌中间真的有一颗呢!牵着牵着….手里的心也就被牵着牵着走了…..

福建话把妻子称为“牵手”,是很传神。人都希望能在生命的过程中,与步伐一致的伴侣携手打拼。有了牵手,就不会孤单;有了牵手,就有了力量。然而,大多时候,我们成了人家的牵手时反而不牵手了。

一般来说,新婚夫妻在婚姻开始的头两年,仍会浪漫地手牵手漫步公园,逛街出游,然而时间一久,生活多了柴米油盐,浪漫跟着少了,也就不牵手了。能够到老仍通过牵手这样的肢体语言来表达爱意与关心,著实令人感动。

其实,牵手象征着彼此对对方的信赖及归属感,小小的一个牵手的动作,往往胜过千言万语。

“爱他,就要让大家知道。”

好友曾经说过一件事:某一天他与老公逛街,遇到老公大学时代的旧情人,驻足聊了起来,她不免心中有些不是滋味。也许是察觉了老婆的感受,老公顺势牵起了老婆的手,旧情人看在眼里,意识到自己的身份,于是寒暄了几句,随即告辞。

牵手是爱的宣言,告诉全世界“我心有所属”。

牵手,再自然简单不过,你有多久没牵手了?

读着这篇文章的时候,令我不由自主地回想了我与旧男友的第一次牵手:真的牵走了我的心;他忘了牵我的手的时候:我真的感到心空空的,心里的那股暖流没有了;他帮我提东西好让我空出手让他牵时:我真的甜到心里头,因为我感觉到他真的时时刻刻都好珍惜我;他与朋友聊得起劲而忽略我的时候,他用力紧紧握着我的手一下,就像是给我肯定说,他在这一刻并没有忘了我,他还是很在意我,叫我别担心;他将与我分手的那一刻,从他牵我的手的方式,我就可以感觉到他已经不属于我了。短短的一篇文章,竟让我又尝尽了过去的感情的酸甜苦辣。

除此之外,牵手,也让我回忆起妈妈常牵着我的小手,到处走。哪怕一松手,心肝宝贝女儿的我会不见似的。现在长大了,我想妈妈还是很想牵我的手,皆因我还是她心目中傻傻又可爱的猪敏,只是她不再牵我的手心,而是牵我的手臂过马路。从这点,我就深深感觉到她对我的爱。牵手真是一种爱的表现,我也该拿出勇气,牵牵妈妈的手,让她也感受到我的爱,皆因“我爱你”,真是难向亲爱的爸爸妈妈开口说啊………

Happy tears…..

August 18th, 2006 by manyee1983

Today, i am really really x100 happy… My parents at last can have their first trip to china. After sacrificing so much for the family, my parents can enjoy for their first time already. This is their first time going out together(pak toh? honey moon?) hehe… This is the first time they taking flight, first time been to china. They are excited buying shoes ( for my dearest father) now.Especially my father…. he doesn admit tht he is happy and excited. He said : wat so happy, this is just a trip. haha…. But i know him well….He actually felt so sweet in his heart. Both my mum and dad are very touched actually cos my sis treat them for this one week trip. Haha….. they happy, i am happy as well. They sacrifice for us so many years already, now this is the time for them to enjoy. Too bad, we, the whole family, cant accompany them together. But i believe we will have the chance to do so, one big family cherish happy moment together. :)

Strive Till the End

July 28th, 2006 by manyee1983

Really busy recently. School work, gakkai activities, …… Everyday reach home at 7+pm, then i got to have a quick dinner to rush for meeting at 8pm. Got back home after meeting already 10+, then bathe.. Settle down only at 11+pm. Really tired and hv no time for studies…This is just the beginning, I will be getting more busy soon with assignments, tutorials, tests, convocation meet, fespic opening ceremony, Acad M meetings, meetings………..

Though busy, but I know I have my comrades striving together. Life seems busy but valuables and meaningful…. Along the process, we all will grow to a better person together and create values in our life.

One of my housemate who just came back from Soka University in Japan shared with us guidance from Ikeda Sensei: 我们要有跨越难的决心,不被烦恼击倒,要成为勇敢的人;要努力求学,成为伟大的人;要累积福运,成为幸福的人。We may face a lot of problems along our path, but we must have the courage to face it and overcome it, then we will be the winner in life. One who is courageous is happy. True enough. Often, we have no confidence in challenging our problems because we are not courageous enough. Once we determine to strive, we are already the winner over the problem. Nothing is impossible…

With faith, we will definitely be able to transform our problems into happiness. 烦恼即菩提嘛。Let us strive together till the end. So, let’s join the fespic opening ceremony and contribute to the society… Let us once again create memorable history in our life…

Sad….

July 14th, 2006 by manyee1983

I have an extremely bad luck today. First, I went out for UM bus for my 1st lecture today at 9.15am (the bus usually comes at 9.30). Waited for one and half an hour, breathing in all the dust, sand by the roadside( construction is taking place , imagine the air quality there. It’s 100 times worse then usual) When my lungs going to turn black, the bus at last reached there. I late for the lecture for about one hour. When go into the hall, lecturer told the whole class that I was "smart" to sleep outside for one hour, then only come in for the second half of the lecture. I was so embarassed and speechless at that moment…

At 3pm, i can go back home to have a good rest. But again, i missed the bus. The bus jt went off 1,2 minutes before i reach there. I’m terrified to experience the "waiting " again. I decided to walk out from UM campus and take public transport. Again, I waited for one hour… Breathing in all the "air nutrients" (higher dose this time) for another one hour… I guess my lung already turn into black…

All the buses seem to bully me today. I was really frustrated and sad. I tried so hard to control myself from dropping into lower state of life and defeated by the environment. But my tears of sadness/frustration/depression…… are out of my control…. At last, I troubled Ke Wei to purposely drive to UM to fetch me back. Luckily, his kindness bring back my smile and comfort my heart… And I was back to my house safely and writing this blog now.

You may think that this is not a big pbl at all, what’s the matter?? But if you were me, you will feel the same as i felt…

Complicated

July 9th, 2006 by manyee1983

Always we hear ppl say, girls are difficult to understand. I do agree that but I feel that i should add more to tht statement: girls and guys are equally difficult to understand.

Girls are famous of their emotional behaviour, but i do come across guys who are also emotional. Guys can also be easily irritated actually. Sometimes, I just don’t really understand why guys are so emotional. When they are not in the mood in that second, you will be shocked by their attitude without knowing what is really going on. Because they will not giving you a chance to ask why once it happens. Although after calm them down and talk to them nicely to sort things out, we still fail…. I wonder the factor is my poor elaboration? Or they have comprehension problem… Consequently, the mystery will be forever there.

Girls’ behaviour will never be understood, this is true enough since girls are shaped this way. But how about guys? They can treat you so lovely once, after that they will be easily make a 360 degrees change. Then again, they will say smth sweet and lovely to you as if they never hurt you before. Sometimes really wanna ask them wat is the purpose behind of doing this. Wanna get bc the girls? Wanna test the girls again? But if possible, don’t ask cos they will give you those nice sweet words again to fool us around. Sometimes when really think of it, you will feel extremely angry. Hey, guys out there, don’t try to cheat us with those sweet promises. We are not those girls that will be easily fooled by you and trust you again! But anyhow, we are still girls… We will still care for them and going nearer to the trap without knowingly… Guys, if you are reading this, pls don’t play us around. Do respect us and treat us with your true heart…

It’s just my thoughts recently…..